Sleep On It

I was laying in bed last night, on the right side of the bed, when a thought popped into my head. If I decide to move in with another boyfriend, how do we decide who sleeps on what side of the bed? Pondering this question kept me up for quite a while. I tried to remember how I handled this question when I was living with my ex-boyfriend, but cannot remember having such a conversation. In the interest of falling asleep, and to avoid revisiting this question in the future, I made up a list of arguments I will make to my future live-in boyfriend about why I should sleep on the right side of the bed.

• I wake up first, therefore I need to be near the alarm clock.
• I wake up during the night to go to the bathroom, therefore I need to sleep closer to the bathroom.
• I am more sensitive to the temperature of the room, therefore I need to be closer to the air vent.
• I am more likely to have sex with you if I can sleep on the right side of the bed.
  

Maybe when I moved in with my ex we slept on different sides of the bed so no discussion was necessary. Maybe I was in love and didn’t care where I slept as long as I got to sleep next to him. But I’m older and wiser now and the next time I live with someone I will make sure I get my side of the bed. I will tell him this: sleep on the left side or find somebody else to sleep with! If that doesn’t work, I will have much farther to walk to go to the bathroom.